Pulse
by Matyrfae
Summary: This is the year where hope fails you, the test subjects run the experiment, and the bastards you know, is the hero you hate, but cohesing is possible if we try...tell me right now, what have you got to lose except your soul? ME2...eventual Shrios.
1. Pulse of the Maggots

**Slipknot, Pulse of the Maggots, Vol.3 the Subliminal verses**

This is the year where hope fails you  
The test subjects run the experiments  
And the bastards you know, is the hero you hate  
But cohesing is possible if we try  
There's no reason, there's no lesson  
No time like the present, tell me right now  
What have you got to lose, what have you got to lose  
Except your soul...who's with us!

I fight for the unconventional  
My right, and its unconditional  
I can only, be as real as I can  
The disadvantage is  
I never knew the plan  
This isn't just the way to be a martyr  
I can't, walk alone any longer  
I fight, for the ones who can't fight  
And if I lose, at least I tried

We, we are the new diabolic  
We, we are the bitter bucolic  
If I have to give my life you can have it  
We, we are the pulse of the maggots

I won't, be the inconsequential  
I won't, be the wasted potential  
I can make it, as severe as I can  
Until you realize  
You'll never take a stand  
It isn't, just a one-sided version  
We've dealt, with a manic subversion  
And I won't, let the truth be perverted  
And I won't leave another victim deserted

We, we are the new diabolic  
We, we are the bitter bucolic  
If I have to give my life you can have it  
We, we are the pulse of the maggots

Do you understand? (yes)

Say it again say it again (we won't die)

We fight til no one can fight us  
We live, and no one can stop us  
We pull when we're pushed too far  
And the advantages is  
The bottom line is  
We never, had to fight in the first place  
We only, had to spit back at their face  
We won't, walk alone any longer  
What doesn't kill us, only makes us stronger

We, we are the new diabolic  
We, we are the bitter bucolic  
If I have to give my life you can have it  
We, we are the pulse of the maggots

Do you understand (yes)

Say it again say it again (we won't die)


	2. Prologue

**Bioware owns us all...**

A flash of flame…a scream of terror…the sounds of crew running for the escape pods…all of these would have driven any individual to panic…but Vera Shepard simply pushed the distress away…she'd done this before…moving through Akuze as her men died in agony around her. Sometimes if she sat very still, and everything was silent…she could still hear their screams echoing in the back of her mind.

Akuze had almost succeeded in breaking her will…but she had refused to die, and she refused to die now. The Normandy was exploding around her…her ship…her _home_. To a spacer…any ship was home…but the Normandy had been different, and seeing her beloved vessel falling apart was slowly killing the Commander's soul.

She had launched the distress beacon…had done all she could to give her sanctuary a fighting chance, but it had all been in vain…and now her pilot was refusing her orders. Dying ship or not…Joker's defiance was going to be addressed.

She managed to crawl through the smoke and flames to the stairs, standing as the emergency lights kicked in…causing the corridor to glow a deep red, Vera wondered if hell would look this tragic…

She moved up the stairs, gripping the hand rail tightly as the ship shuddered, the Normandy had fought with all it had…and even amongst the final death throes the ship was making sure it's ending was anything but quiet. _That's my girl…_Vera caressed the wall she leaned against before moving on.

As she pulled the doors to the CIC apart the Commander was faced with the brilliance of the cosmos…

The ceiling had been blown clean off…leaving the CIC open to the great gleaming orb that was Alchera…Vera had occasionally seen glimpses of inky blackness from the tiny windows of her ship, but she had never been faced with the full view…she felt microscopic…a tiny speck of existence amongst the vastness of space, she felt…alone.

She glared at the magnificence…stared down the planet that seemed to glow brighter amid the explosions of her ship…Alchera was _mocking_ her. _You failed…_ the planet seemed to whisper to her. She felt her upper lip curl into a sneer as she glared through her helmet's visor. Turning her attention away from the stars she examined what was now left of her combat deck.

The galaxy map, she recalled how it used to swirl under her fingers, rippling like water as she plotted courses…it flickered pitifully amongst the mangled wreck of the platform she used to stand on, watching over her crew as they worked around her.

The once glowing screens of the stations surrounding the central command center were now permanently dimmed…casting eerie shadows about the room. She moved towards the cockpit.

Her magnetic grav boots held her feet to the floor, slowing her down; it felt like walking through sand…the chairs that had lined the catwalk floated in the air, like clouds as she moved closer. Vera gently pushed them away, noticing the ghostly slowness at which they parted from her. A small shiver twitched across her shoulders.

She saw the blue shimmer of a kinetic barrier at the entrance to the cockpit…or Joker's sanctum as she had liked to call it. She could see him hunched over the controls…the once soothing orange holographic panels were now flashing a brilliant red as the galaxy's best pilot tapped away furiously at commands the ship was no longer able to follow.

She passed through the almost invisible barrier, the sensation leaving an aching chill to her bones, even through the heating system of her combat suit.

"Joker…" She lightly placed a gloved hand on his shoulder, not surprised in the slightest when he shrugged away from her touch.

"No…I'm not abandoning the Normandy, I can still save her!" He growled as he continued to type out the same commands he had been issuing to the ship for the past twenty minutes…it seemed he was completely oblivious to the alarms screeching at him that the ship was no longer listening.

"The Normandy is lost Jeff…going down with the ship won't change that." She was sympathetic towards his angst…she was going through the same thing…but there was a harsh tone to her words that sliced the air with finality…Joker knew that if he didn't listen to her she would drag him from the controls. He also caught how she called him by his first name…she only ever did that when they were in the direst of circumstances.

"You're right…okay, help me up." Vera did not like how his voice became monotone…his emotionless eyes staring up at her began to remind her of an Elcor. The Normandy was Joker's life…the only thing he had…and she had just issued a kill order. This was going to scar…and that wound was never going to heal.

She moved to raise him from the chair, careful of his brittle bones. A dull shriek rang out through the stillness, and Joker slid back down into his seat. "They're coming around for another attack!" He cried, just as the unidentified ship's golden laser sliced clean across the bridge to the cockpit, cutting the Normandy in half.

She quickly hoisted Joker out of the chair, pulling his arm across her shoulders. "Ow, watch the arm!" He cried as she half dragged him towards the escape pod. Vera rolled her eyes as she pulled her pilot along, not that he could see it through her helmet. She shoved him in, moving to follow as the keening wail of distressed metal erupted behind her, alerting her of the lasers return.

She turned slightly as the galaxy map exploded, the force pulling her out of Joker's reach. "Commander!" He cried as she gripped the wall. It was then Vera knew she wasn't going to make it…this was it. Her number was up…All of her luck had run out and now her life was over, she found peace in that. She knew she had lived far longer than she should have…she should have died gasping while her flesh dissolved on the surface of Akuze, following her men.

Turning to her pilot's manic gestures she smiled at Joker, _So long Jeff…it really has been an honor to know you._ His face was a mask of horror through his visor as he screamed her name, realizing her intent.

"Shepard!" He shrieked through his comm. Vera shook her head at him as she pressed the launch button for the pod. She saluted him as the doors slid shut in his face.

Another explosion tore her grip away as the pod launched. Vera allowed her body to be carried away, moving through space reminded her of swimming in the ocean…and she allowed her body to drift along the waves of the sea.

She now had an up close and personal view of the destruction of all she held dear…Vera decided it was sweat dripping down her face…she wouldn't cry…she hardly ever allowed herself to cry.

As she continued to float she noted the explosions had stopped…the other ship had moved off, its mission accomplished. _I hope you get a hull breach from a shard of my ship you bastards…_ she thought darkly, as her mind vaguely registered a soft hissing sound from behind her.

It was a noise that had been drilled into her brain from basic; the noise of one's oxygen tube severed…the noise of one's lifeblood vanishing into the black.

Vera had trained for this…she had already accepted her death, she had found peace among the wreckage of her ship, dying with the Normandy…that was how it should be…the way of things. Even though her brain had registered defeat…her body refused to give up, adrenalin surged and panic coated her mind in a hazy fog. She blindly reached behind her, wasting precious gasps of oxygen as she struggled, trying in vain to reconnect the tubes to the tank… Feeling her body weaken…her breathing slowed…each tiny inhalation a final act of defiance from her lungs. Of all the things that could have registered as her final thoughts…the only one was a memory…

_Benezia's eyes went distant…her soul already somewhere else, "No light…" She whispered, "They always said there would be a…" The life vanishes from the body…the matriarch is no more…_

. . .

Jeff Moreau had very few skills…on land. Give him any vessel; any piece of scrap that could get in the air and within moments it would be dancing through relays with the same grace and efficiency as any five star alliance cruiser.

He had been grounded though…why he wasn't exactly sure…nor did he care. What bothered him was that Vera Shepard was gone…and no one really seemed to care.

He didn't just want to be back in the air, he wanted to be back under her command. Yes she had been a hard ass…but that was what he liked best about her. From the moment she had learned of his disability, her behavior and treatment towards him hadn't changed. She had actually pushed him harder than everyone else…and he had thrived. Now he had nothing…nothing but anger and hate towards the Alliance who basically abandoned Shepard amidst the ice and snow and scrap metal.

_And she would still be yelling at you now if you had just gotten off your stubborn ass and gone to the escape pods…_ He grit his teeth, hands balling into fists.

"Mr. Moreau…" He turned from the observation window; he had gone back to Arcturus after rescue…it had been his home before the Normandy had come into his life. It didn't feel like home anymore…but it was better than Earth…being on Earth would have driven him beyond the point of madness.

"Who are you?" He stared at the brunette woman walking towards him...if things weren't so dire he might have taken the time to fully appreciate her hour glass figure, or how her uniform seemed to cling in all the right places…but as things were his eyes never left her face.

"Miranda Lawson, I need to speak with you…" She shook his hand, "My boss, needs to speak with you…"

. . .

Miranda Lawson stared at the husk before her…trying to believe that they possessed the technology and resources to revert it back to its original human state. Right now the mass of flesh and bone barely resembled a humanoid figure…no signs of gender…they had been fully relying on DNA scanners. According to their scanner this…_thing_…was Commander Vera Shepard. The woman who saved them all…the galaxy's lone hero…assumed to be lost forever.

Getting her remains had been absolute hell…and Miranda felt doubt creep into her mind as she walked around the operating table. _Was the cost worth it? Did they go through all that…for nothing?_

The doors to the lab hissed open and the sound of heavy boots thudded against the chrome floor. Miranda turned, hand outstretched for the data pad Wilson was about to give her. He had kept her waiting…

"Is everything ready?" She highly disliked the scientist…something about him just set off all her red flags. The Illusive Man had assured her he was the best of the best…but she couldn't deny her gut feelings about the man…Wilson was trouble.

"Yes…she's not much now…but give me time." The man was cocky…overconfident. Miranda hated that. She was not against being sure of one's abilities…but Wilson had yet to prove he could get the job done…and until he did his confidence was going to be met with cold indifference.

"Well then…get started." Wilson rubbed his hands together as he looked over the body. Smiling to himself as he reached for a scalpel, the sharp clacks of Miranda Lawson's stiletto heels fading into the background as she exited, leaving him to his work.

. . .

Pain…indescribable…searing agony…no sound…no sound could convey the pain…her lungs pumped furiously for much needed oxygen, her eyes flying open, closing shut immediately upon being blinded by the harsh white light in her face.

Voices…there were voices…what were they saying? Something about time…too early…she was awake too early…awake from what?

Soft hands brushed tense shoulders back, Vera feeling the bite of the cold metal table at the back of her head. A face…indescribable beauty stared down at her, ocean eyes holding her attention for the briefest moment before panic consumed what was left of her consciousness.

The face…the beautiful face was speaking to her…muffled voices rising, getting louder, almost a shriek…

She was an angel, Vera was staring up at an angel…but if this was heaven why was there so much pain?

Pressure in her wrist…ice flowing from the injection given, filling her veins…numbing her terrified mind.

The angel faded…darkness consumed. _Sleep…let me sleep…let this end._


	3. Lazarus

_Welcome to the transformation, Welcome to annihilation..._

** Welcome, Slipknot, Vol.3 the Subliminal verses**

**

* * *

**

"Shepard…"

_Vera's eyes slid open, staring up into a mirror, the surface rippling and distorting her reflection. She was sitting upon an ocean floor…naked, she felt exposed. She could make out nothing amidst the dark surrounding her…all that was noticeable was the surface of the water. Pulling her hands in front of her face, she felt her movements slowed... Looking back up pulling her knees to her chest, she watched as a parade of images flowed across the surface…_

"Shepard do you hear me?"

_Bodies flew, limbs cracking against hard stone in the valley they had set up camp in. A woman ran, ran till she was exhausted, green slime dripping down her back, sizzling across her skin. Her long dark hair had dissolved long ago…._

"Shepard, you need to wake up…"

_Silver plating, cybernetic blue eyes gleam cruelly as she is dragged through the water…Saren lifts her off her feet, his talons clamped firmly about her neck. A small, sadistic turian grin quirks his mandibles as his talons begin to apply pressure to her soft throat._

"Shepard, get up now…you're scars aren't healed yet but I need you to get moving…"

_The woman folds in on herself as she leans against the stone wall… the soothing words of her turian friend becoming a gentle buzz in the back of her mind…all that matters is the man speaking through her comm. knowing he is about to die, "You know this is the right decision commander…you did the right thing," His voice is husky, yet soft as silk in her ear, "I don't regret a thing Vera…" Virmire is left in flames…_

"Shepard…get out of that bed right now this facility is under attack!"

_Vera heard the voice from where she sat at the bottom of the ocean…she acknowledged what it was saying but her soul refused to listen…__**you died…you're done…finished…rest…sleep now…your fight is over…let your gun cool down…**__She felt herself retreat further and further into the deep dark waters, wanting more than anything to allow oblivion to swallow her up…she was tired…so very very tired…_

"Come on Commander…get moving!"

_Vera felt her arms begin to move of their own accord…her legs kicking her body upwards, for a moment she basked in the feel of the water rushing against her skin…how long had she thought of heaven when swimming in the ocean? How it was so close to flying as your body flowed through the waves? She never wanted to leave, never wanted to be in pain again. Her soul then registered what was happening, how her body was pulling her towards the surface…she screamed in rage as she fought, feeling an icy scalding sensation slide down her throat, her body refused to listen…soon her tears mixed with the water as it changed into mud…thick and unmoving against her body…causing her muscles to cry out in anguish…she didn't want this…didn't want to return…her miserable spirit broke through the surface…_

"SHEPARD!"

Long dead vocal chords awakened. Vera emitting a deafening shriek as she came back to life…pain instantly shooting through her legs and arms…she felt like she had just swam a mile through mud.

She blinked several times, trying to adjust to the bright lighting, her skull igniting with white hot agony. "Fuck…" She groaned.

She moved to sit up but screamed in pain once more…looking down to find several IV tubes attached to her body…_Where the…what the hell?_

"Shepard you need to get moving!" The voice was tinny, Vera registering it coming from a comm. speaker at the other side of the room.

Vera took several deep breaths, gathering the tubes in her hands…on the fourth exhalation she jerked…hard. Moaning in pain as the needles and tubes slid out of her flesh. _Great…like I needed more scars…_

As she threw the IV tubes away she sat up, wincing as she clutched at her ribs. She was in a lab of some kind… Chrome and glass walls, shiny metal tabletops, all coming together to reflect the light in such a way as to induce the galaxy's most painful migraine.

Vera could not remember the last time her vision had been so clear…When fighting the Thresher Maws of Akuze…acid had been splashed in her face…almost blinding her…but surgery had helped. Still, now she viewed the world crystal clear…clearer than crystal…the whole effect was causing her headache to worsen.

Groaning she slid from the table, instantly crumpling to the floor. Her legs felt weak, like she hadn't ever walked before…

Gritting her teeth she pulled herself back up…noting she was naked. _Interesting…_

"There's a locker across the room that should hold some weapons and armor…" There was that heavily accented female voice again…ordering her around…Vera hated the voice.

She examined her legs…noting how sickly and bony they looked. Vera had never been one to brag…but she had had a good body…a horrendously scarred body that had been damaged beyond belief…but damn had she kept it maintained. All of her muscles were gone it seemed…It was then she noticed the scars…the ones very different from her original ones…

Zigzagging, crisscrossing, jagged ridges of angry red flesh…her skin had become a patchwork quilt…no area had been left undisturbed. It was ugly…and as she flexed her hand she saw the membrane stretch, and felt a tiny sting as the stitches pulled apart with the action…_What the fuck?_ She almost fell again as she attempted to move once more…

She glared at the locker across the room. _I took on a rogue spectre…I took on an army of geth…I've faced a horde of Thresher Maws…I will NOT be crippled…_

Slowly, she let go of the edge of the operating table, wobbling on her feet once again…she grit her teeth as she moved forward, one baby step at a time.

She felt control return to her body with each step…by the time she reached the locker she was walking somewhat normally, only moving with a slight limp. Opening the door she spotted a combat suit and a pistol…

She slid into the under weave with care…her skin was unbelievably sore. Wincing she began to attach the armor plates…noting the N7 design, but filing her curiosity away to be dealt with in a less dangerous situation.

The armor was almost…baggy on her, barely clinging to her frame. It wasn't a perfect suit…but it was all she had at the moment. She palmed the pistol, registering how heavy it now felt in her hand. _It's like a brick…_ She actually grunted as she moved to reload it…a light clicking noise informing her it held no ammo. _Fantastic…_

"Quickly Shepard, grab your weapon and armor!" If the pistol had held any ammo the first thing she would have done would have been to shoot the comm. in the corner of the room.

She held up the weapon, wincing as she watched her arm tremble slightly at the weight, she pulled the trigger, flinching as the weapon emitted a series of sharp cracks louder than any fire cracker. "This pistol doesn't have a thermal clip." She snapped.

"Well…search around then, this is a med lab not an armory!" Vera moved to the doors, barely taking a half step before the voice shrieked a command once more, "Damn it…go to ground FAST!" Vera registered a very familiar hiss and quickly threw herself behind a desk, screaming as the doorway exploded…she examined the aftermath in shock…explosions were nothing new to her, she never even blinked at them before…but everything was just…so…_loud_. _What is wrong with me?_

"Someone is hacking into security trying to kill you…you need to get moving!" Vera flipped the comm. unit the bird as she left the room.

Her combat suit's chest piece was hanging lopsided, and the loose shoulder plating was really restricting her movements…she almost abandoned it, until bullets from an attacking mech whizzed past her head, causing a light blue shimmer about her form as the hit was absorbed by her armor's kinetic barrier. _Guess I'm stuck in this…_

She leaned against the back of a crate; breathing hard…closing her eyes as she lifted her gun, taking several deep breaths to steady herself before taking aim.

_Right between the eyes…_ she grinned as the mech's head exploded. At least her aim hadn't changed.

She began to move through the labs…room by room, scooping up thermal clips and creds as she found them. Vera had once contemplated the evils of looting those now dead…the thought that it was evil only lasted for a second. They were dead…she was not, enough said.

She could hear screams and rapid gunfire nearby…She did not like the uncertainty those sounds caused…they had never bothered her before. She chalked it up to the fact that she was insanely weak, sickly feeling…and had absolutely no idea where she was or what was going on.

Following the sounds despite her growing unease, she stepped out onto a balcony of sorts…the platform littered with bodies.

"Bingo…" She whispered as she spotted a security guard's corpse…an actual grenade launcher clasped in his stiff fingers. Sliding the weapon out of its grasp, she kneeled down behind the railing; peeking over the top she noticed a small grouping of LOKI mechs.

Her breath came out in short puffs as she lifted the massive gun, _Alright this newfound weakness thing is seriously beginning to piss me off…_

Vera Shepard discovered something important after launching a grenade at the mechs…the tanks they had been standing next to were highly flammable. A wall of fire streamed from the crumpled end of the container, blocking her exit…_woops_…

A comm. unit crackled to life off to her left, ordering her to take the elevator down a level…_I'm gonna kill that bitch when I find her…I need answers not orders._

Gritting her teeth she slung the launcher across her back and moved towards the elevator, cursing how she was being ordered about. She had no problem following orders from a superior officer…but she didn't know this woman, at all, _and I likely never will, because when I find her, if she doesn't give me answers...I'm going to kill her._

She stumbled as the lift reached the lower floor, cursing her wobbly legs, eyes widening as she approached the wall of flame.

It was so vibrant…it flowed across the walk way like a curtain…she could almost see her reflection if she leaned close enough…

"Get moving Shepard!"

Vera growled at the comm. unit from the elevator. Glancing about for cameras…wanting to shoot one to get her hatred for the situation across. She turned back towards the flames…clenching her jaw. _Here goes nothing…_

She backed up several paces…breathing deep, she bounced on her feet experimentally…if she stumbled even slightly…the burns would be horrific.

She cried out as she moved into a sprint, bursting through the wall of fire…her kinetic barriers managing to keep her skin protected. She slammed against the far wall, emitting a soft whimper as she slid to the floor. "Damn it…that hurt…"

As she rested, another comm. unit fizzled…but this time the woman's heavily accented voice blurred into static…Vera only catching a few words…

Grateful for the silence she leaned her head back; her lungs were on fire…her ribs ached. She had never felt this awful…the only situation she could compare it too was after climbing out of the wreckage of the Citadel tower after Sovereign's defeat…only she hadn't really noticed how injured she was then, she had been drunk on adrenalin and victory.

More gunfire and explosions erupted from down the hall…alerting her to the fact that the woman had been right…she needed to hurry.

Standing she leaned against the wall for one last lingering moment, allowing her body to soak up as much rest as it could before lurching forward.

As she ascended the stairs a shriek caused her to jump. Off to her left, through the glass window of the lab room, a lone man was limping towards her, yelling for help…calling her name…

She stepped up to the glass, gesturing wildly for directions on how to reach him…when a series of thuds shook the window's frame. A distinct click and whir followed by a deep synthetic voice caused her to close her eyes in pain, as she lifted a hand to the glass.

Opening her eyes, she saw the man give her a sorrowful smile as the massive heavy mech loomed over him. To her great surprise the man bowed to her as the mech raised its arm, unleashing a steady stream of bullets that converted the man into a bloody pulp. _I didn't know who you were…but I'll find who did this…I'll make them pay…_

She picked up her speed, half jogging as she burst through a large set of chrome doors.

She found herself in a wide room…whirling around as she heard the gunshots erupt right beside her…

"Shepard…what the hell?" Vera glanced down before ducking and rolling towards the railing, sliding into a crouch next to a dark skinned man.

"What the hell are you doing here? I thought you were still a work in progress…"

Vera all but snarled at the man, "Listen pal, I don't know where I am or what's going on…plus my head feels like an over ripe melon ready to split open how about you fill me in a little?"

The man reared back, eyes wide, "Damn…sorry, I forgot this is all new to you…my name's Jacob Taylor, I've been stationed here for-" A spray of bullets clattered against the railing, "Damn it!" He cried out as she flinched, "Things must be worse than I thought if Miranda's got you running around…" Vera logged that name away, _so the bossy woman is Miranda…okay…_

Jacob Taylor reloaded a thermal clip into his shotgun, "I'll fill you in…but we need to get you to the shuttles first…" He actually yelped as Vera grabbed his collar, jerking him towards her.

"A warning…" She hissed, "I have no idea what's going on…I don't take orders from complete strangers and I'm afraid you and my gun are going to get real friendly if you don't give me answers!" She shoved him back, Taylor landing on his butt with a stunned look on his face. Vera felt her arm scream in protest at the force but managed to keep her face neutral.

"Alright fine! Listen…" He resumed his earlier crouch, ducking low to avoid the mechs, "You and your ship where attacked and destroyed. You were killed. Dead as dead could be when they brought you here…" Vera felt an icy chill seep into her bones as she recalled her dreams before waking. Jacob continued, oblivious to her angst, "Our scientists spent the last two years putting you back together in a procedure called 'Project Lazarus'. You've been comatose…or worse, that whole time. Welcome back to your life."

Vera's eyes widened, her grip loosening around her gun as he spoke, "Wait…two years? I-I'm having trouble wrapping my head around that…" Taylor nodded. Vera looked around, examining a weird hexagonal black, orange, and white symbol plastered all over the walls and doors…even on Taylor's uniform, "This doesn't look like an Alliance facility…"

Taylor shook his head, "It's not…but I can't say much more than that for now," His words trailed off as she glared at him, he quickly changed the subject, "The Alliance officially declared you killed in action…the whole galaxy thinks you're dead." He gestured towards the attacking mechs from across the walkway, "and if we don't get to those shuttles…they'll be right."

He moved to fire at the mechs but Vera pulled him back down, "Just one more thing…were there-" Her voice broke, she shook her head, beginning again, "Were there any other survivors from the Normandy?"

Taylor gave an exasperated sigh, lifting his gun, "I'll tell you what…you help me finish off these mechs and I'll play twenty questions with you all day."

Vera growled as she pulled up her pistol, "You have yourself a deal there Mr. Taylor" She stood, shooting several mechs in the face.

Taylor's body flashed blue and he threw his arm back, causing one of the mechs to be thrown off its feet, clattering over the edge to the floor below…shattering upon impact.

When the mechs lay in pieces Jacob stood, and seeing Vera struggle leaned down to give her a hand up. Vera normally never allowed someone to help her…but she was absolutely exhausted…and survival was worth swallowing her pride.

"Alright, I promised I'd answer your questions…what do you want to know?"

Shepard closed her eyes and sighed, stretching her left arm. There were so many questions…but the most important one practically leapt up her throat, bursting from her lips "The last thing I remember is the Normandy blowing up…did anyone else make it? _Liara…Tali…G-Garrus?_

"Almost everyone made it out alive; a few servicemen from the lower decks didn't get out… Navigator Presley was killed by an explosion. But everyone else including the non alliance crew, the asari, Liara, the quarian and turian, they all made it out alive." Vera's breath came out in a sharp exhalation…_Thank you God…_

Her brain then registered what he'd said about Presley. Shepard felt her heart constrict at the news of Presley's death. He had been one of her mentors…even with his xenophobia. She bowed her head, it was all she was able to do to honor him for the moment. As she looked up she noticed Jacob giving her a strange look. As if he hadn't expected the savior of the galaxy to have emotions. Shepard cleared her throat, embarrassed.

"I have just one more question Mr. Taylor." Her voice was raspy; her resurrection was making her more emotional... _fuck…_

"Ask away."

"When I first woke up some woman was yelling at me over the comm. units…we lost contact right before I ran into you…" _Though I was quite grateful for that…_ Vera thought darkly.

Jacob Taylor nodded, "That'd be Miranda Lawson, she was in charge of the Lazarus project, I'm not surprised she got you up…she's not about to give up on you now." His face tightened in concern, "You said you lost contact…could you tell what happened?"

Vera hadn't really been paying attention to what Miranda had said in the last message…something about mechs closing in on her position… "It didn't sound good," She stated frankly, Vera did not believe in sugar coating things…sometimes life was hard, trying to protect yourself or others only ever ended up in more pain, "there was some gunfire and an explosion right before I lost her…"

Taylor nodded, holstering his shotgun, "She's tough…a few mechs wouldn't drop her…but I hope she's okay."

Vera reloaded her pistol, "What's the quickest way to those shuttles?" _And when can I go back to sleep?_ She was in agony…her body hated her…moving had now become a very painful action…

Jacob opened his mouth to respond when his omni tool flashed. "Hello? Is anyone out there? Anyone still alive, hello?" Shepard raised an eyebrow.

"Wilson, is that you? I'm here with Shepard…we just took out a wave of mechs over in D-Wing." There was nothing but static for a few seconds before Wilson's voice flowed from the comm.

"Shepard's alive? How the hell-never mind, you need to get her out of there!" Shepard scanned the room for more thermal clips as Wilson gave Jacob directions. At Jacob's signal she rejoined him at the far door. After a quick hack from Taylor they made their way further through the base.

Vera remembered Wilson…she recalled a very foggy memory…it was covered in a haze of pain and anguish…but his name sounded familiar, "I think I remember a Wilson checking on me one time when I woke up…" She mused as they made their way further down the chrome corridors. _What is it with high tech labs and metal walls? Everything is so…shiny…_ it was causing her headache to throb at the back of her skull…the ache dripping down her spinal cord.

"Yea…he was the lead scientist of Project Lazarus…answered only to Miranda." As he turned into the next room a spray of bullets clipped their barriers, causing a shimmer of blue to fizzle and then die as they moved for cover.

"Damn it Wilson, this room is crawling with Mechs!"Taylor cried. Shepard ducked as more bullets sped her way, rolling into cover as she brought up her gun. She examined her pistol...looking for the model number…_Aha! _Dialing in the code for Disruptor Ammo she raised her hand, barely looking at her prey she fired three headshots in a row, causing a chain reaction of explosions in the rest of the mech squad. It was her favorite maneuver to destroy synthetics…not as effective with Geth…but a hell of a light show with YMIR mechs.

"Hot damn Shepard…" Jacob muttered to her as they stood, "Hey Wilson, how about you give us some direction…particularly _not_ into an enemy squad." Jacob growled into his comm. unit.

"I'm doing the best I can!" Vera detected an undertone of panic in his voice…something wasn't right here…

Wilson was still shrieking, "Oh God…they're coming…help!" Vera noted that there were almost no sounds of struggle through the comm. …just Wilson's somewhat overdone fake panic…

"He's lying…"

Jacob's head snapped in her direction, "How do you know?"

"Hmm, maybe because we are one level below him and do you hear any mechs or gunfire?" Taylor cocked his head to the side, listening…

"No…"

"Exactly." Vera ascended the stairs, taking them two at a time though her calves screamed out in agony…

She had to pull the doors apart they were so jammed…finding the scientist crouched down against the far wall. The floor was littered with Cerberus employees…they'd all been shot in the chest…but no mechs…or mech remains…

"Jacob…Shepard…down here!" Vera moved towards the traitor, her blood boiling…images of the earlier Cerberus employee getting gunned down by the heavy mech flashed through her mind…

"Bastards got me in the leg!"

"No…they didn't."

"W-what?"

Vera knelt before him, looking at the wound. It was clean…no tearing of the flesh, the weapon had been fired exactly point blank over the leg…and the bullet had conveniently entered a non fatal area…Vera glared up at his confused face, seeing him begin to sweat as she stared him down.

Wilson screamed as she grabbed his leg, making sure to dig her thumbs into his wound, "You lying bastard!" She screamed in his face.

"Shepard!" She felt strong hands grab her arms, pulling her off her victim. She clawed at the air as Taylor dragged her away. She wanted to make Wilson bleed…make him shriek and cry out in pain…she had passed hundreds of corpses…_hundreds_, all with shocked expressions on their faces…well, the faces that had remained in one piece. He had betrayed them all…even though she didn't know where she was or what kind of people they were…they weren't mercenaries…or warriors…they were people…innocent, not trained in combat, people…and they had been slaughtered like animals.

"We need to take him to my boss!" Jacob yelled as she struggled. Vera was seeing red. Something was wrong…her body had failed her…she was strong, being one of the few women in her beginning unit at basic she had had to bulk up, gain muscle to play with the big boys…and she had succeeded…but now Taylor was moving her like she weighed almost nothing, and the man was a biotic not a soldier…something was very very wrong here and she wanted answers.

"Well who the fuck _is_ your boss huh?" Taylor lifted her by her shoulders; it took all of Vera's strength not to fall back to the ground as he released her.

Wilson huddled against the wall, whimpering pitifully as his leg began to bleed furiously, staining his remarkably clean uniform.

Jacob took her farther away, though still in eyesight of Wilson, "He's called the Illusive Man…calm down please, I know you're angry, and I know you're being left in the dark…" She glared at him, loving her height at that moment…being as tall as most men was a blessing when you wanted to intimidate them…

Taylor didn't seem to respond to her venom this time, "Hey…" He said softly, putting a hand on her shoulder though Vera instantly shrugged it off, "If I tell you who I work for…will you trust me?"

"Why the fuck should I trust any of you? Look what one of your men did!" She pointed at the nearest corpse…the woman's lifeless eyes were still wide in fear.

"And he will be punished for it…trust me, the Illusive Man can do far worse to this man than you can…" Judging by the slight fear in his eyes Shepard believed him, "Now, things are getting intense here…and we aren't going to get very far if you're expecting a shot in the back from me…"

"So tell me who you work for?" Jacob stared at her for a long time…debating.

"Cerberus"

Jacob flew back into the crates, Vera's leg protesting at the force behind the kick. She stalked over to him, raising her gun in his face as he tried to stand.

"Fifty men…I watched _fifty_ men die…in an instant." She pressed the pistol to his forehead, "They had families…friends…_children_…Toombs's little five year old daughter was about to have her birthday…do you think she deserved the kind of present Cerberus gave her?"

Jacob remained very still…and time seemed to slow…Vera shoved the gun harder into his face, snapping his head back. "You're lucky I think you can be trusted…you better be _damn_ grateful that I realize you aren't the one who caused Akuze…that would be your boss…" She pulled the gun back, turning towards Wilson.

"Now get up," she hissed, "I want to find this Illusive Man…"

Jacob stood slowly, hauling Wilson up as he moved to follow her.

They made their way towards the docking bay, Vera watching for mechs at every turn…she was getting tired of the YMIR bastards.

Reaching the docking bays with surprisingly little resistance Vera approached the doors that would take them to the shuttles.

Just as her hand reached the pad, it flashed and the doors slid open, revealing a tall, shapely brunette woman holding a gun.

"Miranda…" Wilson squeaked; trying to break free of Jacob…_he's actually trying to play the misunderstood victim card…idiot…_

Wilson broke Jacob's hold. Limping towards the woman, "You were supposed to b-" The woman raised her gun, shooting Wilson in the face. Vera couldn't help but smile as his body slumped to the floor.

"Dead?" The other woman spat at the corpse. Jacob stepped forward, a look of shock on his face.

"What the hell are you doing?" He snapped.

"My job…Wilson betrayed us all."

Vera snorted as she punched his shoulder, "Told you…"

The woman named Miranda examined her closely, Vera realizing she had seen her face before…Miranda was the angel in her dreams…

"Commander Shepard…" Miranda extended a hand, Vera shook it tentatively… "It's nice to finally meet you…awake."

"Yea I heard you were the one in charge of all this…" She gestured at her body, wondering why Miranda's face instantly tightened in uncertainty…Vera chose to ignore that reaction, "Alright, introductions are fun but you work for Cerberus, so why shouldn't I kill you?"

Miranda ignored her open hostility as she turned her dark blue eyes on Jacob, who seemed to squirm under her intense attention, "Ah Jacob…I should have known your conscience would get the better of you…"

Jacob straightened, a look of extreme defiance almost masking the slight hint of fear in his eyes, "Lying to the Commander isn't the way to get her to join our cause…"

Vera gave a short, cruel laugh, "If you wanted me to join your cause you should have come up with a fake organization…letting me know this was Cerberus, hell you're guaranteed my refusal. I'll never work for terrorists."

"Don't be so foolish Commander…I had heard you were a sensible woman, please tell me I didn't hear wrong." Miranda snapped.

"What makes you think I'm being foolish huh? Look what Wilson did, how about Akuze? Yea, expecting me to jump when you shout how high…seems like I'm not the foolish one here…"

Miranda's eyes narrowed to almost slits as she stepped towards the commander, "I'm not asking you to _jump_…as you say, I'm asking you to come with us and hear our employer out…you really don't have much of a choice in the matter…this is the only way out after all." Vera grit her teeth as her fingers tightened around her pistol.

Miranda, seeing that she had made her point, holstered her gun. "So, now that we're getting everything out in the open is there anything else you want to ask Commander?"

Vera shook her head no; her questions were for the Illusive Man, "I've had enough of this station to last a lifetime."

Miranda's full lips smirked, "Or two in your case…let's go."

. . .

Vera Shepard examined her face in the mirror, _Holy Mother of God…_

It was still her face…though it sported surgical scars that glowed orange…but her cheeks were sunken in, her skull seeming to push out against the pale, pale flesh. Her ebony hair had grown a tad longer…only reaching above her ears, her bangs slightly in her eyes…_I need a haircut…_

A haircut was the least of her worries in this situation she concluded…her emaciated face wasn't the only new change…her eyes…

'Wolf eyes' Anderson had always called them, she had gotten her quicksilver eyes from her father…they had been unusually bright after the thresher maw acid almost blinded her and Anderson had always joked about how creepy it was to endure a harsh glare from her. _Oh if you could see me now Anderson…_

Her eyes actually glowed…the cybernetic irises a white/silver mixture…the lenses lined in blue. Shepard gasped as she focused on a spot in the mirror and watched the lenses adjust…she almost felt like she could _hear_ the tiny little whirs and clicks of her eyes focusing. It explained why her vision was so much clearer…though the orbs looked like they belonged on a robot more than her human face. _Am I even still human?_ She mused as she traced the orange scars…she winced as she glanced down at her body.

She had soon found out why her armor hadn't fit…it was because the size was for her body _before_ her death. Tilting the mirror down she glanced at her naked form, her skin looked as if it had been hacked to pieces and then sewn back together…Frankenstein's monster had nothing on her body. Her original scars…from the acid on Akuze, were gone…and a small part of her heart mourned this, almost as much as it mourned the loss of her original body. All of her muscle…all of her figure…had withered away while her corpse had chilled on Alchera…leaving a skeleton with a thin layer of skin behind. _That explains the weakness…_ Vera thought bitterly as she pulled the mirror back up to its original angle.

Sliding into a warm pair of sweats the Cerberus labs had given her she cringed as her skin cried out in protest…the flesh was fresh and new…the feel of the fabric was almost painful. The clothing hung from her frame…drowning Vera in fabric, but it was easier to move in than her armor. Taking several deep breaths she stepped out of the small restroom…finding herself in a wide open waiting room.

Miranda stood at the far left corner, typing away at a terminal, examining her angry expression Vera figured the news she was examining was not good…

Jacob was glancing out the huge, almost floor to ceiling windows…his stance far friendlier than his female associates…

"Hey…" Vera murmured as she stood beside him. He half turned to her, giving her a small nod as he gazed back into space.

"Commander…" His tone was mildly icy.

"I wanted to…thank you…for telling me the truth, I realize a small part of you knew what my reaction would be…but you didn't lie." She turned in his direction, leaning against the window, "I appreciate that kind of honesty…and I trust you because of it." Jacob turned to her, giving her a small salute.

"Yes Ma'am" Vera gave a small, hesitant smile in return.

"The Illusive Man is waiting for you in the other room…" Miranda chided, Vera rolling her eyes as she moved towards the far door.

"Have fun…" Taylor whispered before she got out of earshot.

Miranda gestured towards a staircase behind her, Vera eyeing it warily before descending. She found herself in a darkened room…the only illumination coming from a raised platform right smack dab in the center of the floor.

Stepping onto it she flinched as the platform flashed orange, a grid-like holo-scan passing over her body. When she looked up…she was no longer looking at just a darkened room…

The walls had gone, leaving a giant view of the stars…and a man sitting in a chair.

"Commander Shepard…" The man stood, Vera instantly spotting two bright blue pinpricks in his face, which materialized into focus as he moved closer. His cybernetic eyes looked more realistic than hers…but were still unsettling to say the least. Vera shrugged off her uncertainty, assuming a stance of confidence…with just a slight hint at attitude as she regarded him.

"Illusive Man…I thought we'd be meeting face to face…" The man gave a slight laugh as he lit a cigarette.

"A necessary precaution…not unusual for people who know what you and I know…" He sat back down.

Vera smirked, "Definitely a smart move on your part…I _will_ find you eventually, you're lucky I need the information you hold…otherwise I'd kill you."

"You barely possess the strength to stand before me right now Shepard…I doubt you would stand a chance fighting through my base in your condition…" Vera wanted to snap his neck right then and there…sadly though…he was just a projected image.

"Yes…about that, what the hell happened to me?"

The Illusive Man lifted a data pad, examining it carefully as he took a long drag on his cigarette. "Our project ended early…you were forced awake too soon…judging by what was left of Wilson's data logs…your body needed at least two months more in sedation to gain back its strength."

"So you guys fucked up…"

"No…if we had you would be dead right now."

"Good point…so back to me wanting you dead…"

"You need to put your personal feelings aside…" The Illusive Man's voice took on a hard edge, blue eyes glowing intensely, "Humanity is up against the greatest threat of our brief experience."

"The Reapers…" Vera murmured as she stared out towards the dying star behind him…it was magnificent…and strangely hypnotic as it pulsed and swirled red and blue…

"Good to see your memory is still intact, how are you feeling?" The tone suggested slight concern…but Vera wasn't buying it.

"You need to earn the right to ask me those kinds of questions" She hissed.

The Illusive Man sighed, "Cerberus isn't as evil as you believe. You and I are on the same side; we just have different motives."

"I got fifty dead marines that speak otherwise…"

He didn't respond to her comment…just sipped an amber liquid from a glass. Vera raised an eyebrow, "Whisky?"

"Bourbon…"

"Ah…I prefer Absinthe."

"Interesting…" He continued to stare at her…

"Alright cut to the chase. What are the Reapers doing that made you decide to bring me back?" The Illusive Man set his drink down, standing.

"We're at war. No one wants to admit it but Humanity is under attack." He stepped closer to her, eyes intense, "While you've been sleeping, entire colonies have been disappearing. Human colonies. We believe its someone working with the Reapers…just as Saren and the geth aided Sovereign." He took another drag on his cigarette, giving a long slow exhalation, allowing the smoke to swirl about his head, "You've seen it yourself, you bested all of them. That's just one reason we chose you."

Vera regarded him for a moment…sizing him up, "Fighting a war doesn't seem like Cerberus…why are you involved?"

"We are committed to the advancement and preservation of Humanity. If the Reapers are targeting us, trying to wipe us out, Cerberus will stop them. If we wait for politicians or the Alliance to act…no more colonies will be left."

_He's got a point there…_Vera thought. She recalled how annoyed she had been with the Alliance during the Saren investigation…how she had come close to ripping her hair out after every talk with the Council. There was a time for politics and there was a time for battle…Vera had always respected that balance…but now was a time for action…and though she hated Cerberus…they were offering her an all clear to actually _do _something about the Reapers…not giving her rules and regulations, or setting boundaries…just shoving a gun into her hands and saying have fun…

She felt her hatred boil underneath her skin…it tightened her chest and invaded her brain…screaming at her to just say 'fuck it' and turn her gun on Miranda and Jacob and any other Cerberus bastard who tried to stop her taking a shuttle…but common sense prevailed in the end. Where would she go? What would she do? It had been two years…two whole years since she had 'died'…the world didn't know she existed. An annoying voice chimed in the back of her head, _the enemy of my enemy is my friend…_

"If…what you say is true…if the Reapers are behind this…I'd consider helping you." The words were forced out through clenched teeth and stiff lips. The Illusive Man seeming to sense her distaste of the situation, a smug little smile stretching his lips as he moved to sit back down.

"I'd be disappointed if you accepted any of this without seeing for yourself. I have a shuttle ready to take you to Freedom's Progress, the latest colony to be abducted. Miranda and Jacob will brief you…"

Vera bit her lower lip, her hands clenching into fists, "Is this a volunteer job or am I being volunteered?" She growled.

The Illusive Man sighed heavily, "You always have a choice Shepard. If you don't find the evidence we're looking for, we can part ways. But first go to Freedom's Progress. Find any clues you can. Who's abducting the colonies? Do they have any connection to the Reapers?"

His eyes turned hard and cold as they glowed at her over his drink, "I brought you back. It's up to you to do the rest…"


End file.
